VODAFONE

Hello. Ok so this is the time that if you know anyone who works at Vodafone Ghana Limited, you call them to read this post of mine. For the ordeal they have put me through, it hurts me to the core that I cannot sue them. I do not have the money or the time. It hurts that I cannot make millions out of the mental torture I have been through but I will honestly do my simple best to discourage anyone from using their services. All will be fair in this love and war. One person a day ought to do the trick.
I have been lucky to live outside this country. Not for too long but long enough to know that wireless services, water, electricity, cable tv are things that shouldn't cause soo much pain especially when one has paid for the service.

Well maybe I should tell you the entire story, so you can appreciate my firm commitment to make them lose a customer a day.

My story begins....

I am my boss's right hand person. Some call it executive assistant, I call it the fix it person. With over 600 hundred employees in Accra, Tema and Kumasi, it is very frustrating when lights go out or most importantly the internet goes off. Tema and Kumasi offices are on fibre optic but Accra (head office) where I operate from we are married to Vodafone Ghana. With the national light situation, we have already raised our hands, danced enough with the Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG) and done the sensible thing (bought two heavy duty generators from SMICE) so that once the lights do their thing, we do not suffer for it. But the internet.....

This journey actually begins in November 2012 when we realized that two cables outside our yard had been cut. Mind you, these two lines were for the fax machine and the broadband. We went to lodge our complain at the Cantonments branch only for us to be told that there is nothing they can do because the area our line falls under is Accra East ie Circle Branch. Ok no problem. I move to circle and they tell me two things;

1. They will attend to it within 14 working days.

2. Our lines are not registered as part of Vodafone Business Solutions so we will be treated as normal customers.

3. They have "entered" the report. It is in the system.

*(%^&$@EW@#!SADXC%*_+.!!!!! I was fuming. Fuming. Fuming. So for 14 working days, I should tell my MD to close the office, so for the past 7 years that we bought, moved into that facility, registered with Vodafone, interacted with them on minor issues (one time, my boss and I went to display...they followed us to the office. It took them thirty minutes to fix it) they could not tell us that we were not part of some business solutions. And what in the name of my good Lord above...is consoling about "I have entered the report". I want a solution immediately not you "entering it". I bit my tongue and asked that they should put the company on business solutions but first they must send us an email to that effect with the options and kindly assign us a VBS relationship manager.
Hmm. They said they will get back to us. I got back to the office and from there onwards a phone war ensured. I called and called and called and my other colleagues called till they got tired and came. Took them an hour to fix. The entire problem was just a cable. A simple black cable. Freaking unbelievable!!! An hour.

An hour minus the hours we had lost in 10 days and printing from an internet cafe. Downloading our documents onto phones and printing....all this was resolved in an hour. How evil.
The rest of November passed, December passed. New Year, one would think that would mean new resolutions for everyone. No, like ECG and Ghana Water Company, those resolutions have swerved Vodafone as well.
Last week Thursday, I got to work and we had no internet. For real, I thought I was dreaming. First of all I couldn’t be stressed out on that particular Thursday and yes that happened to be the day all the directors were converging in Accra office for a meeting. We all knew we had paid the three month subscription and there was no way that subscription was to end that Thursday. We called and they said they have migrated us unto business solutions. @#$!%^&DER#@#$%*. We asked who sent them. The lady said they had sent texts and called...to whom and who answered? She is not sure. %$^&*()R$#@$#%% like seriously?! Who does that? So we asked how many VBS packages they had...they had three. Ok. Mention them...(1)Ghc 180 (2) Ghc350 (3)Ghc 500. Yes your guess is good as mine. They chose Ghc 500. Without consulting.... nothing. Ei. No problem! we paid. Got the internet back. Fuming silently once again. Then roll in 21st January 2013. Yes just this Monday.hmmm yes you guessed right. VODAFONE.

The broadband went off again and all the landlines were dead. Yep I know...I am living in some kind of Vodafone nightmare. I personally went to the circle branch. They once again looked me in the eye and told me...please we have entered it into the system...it will take 10 working days. (Hands on my head) How do they do this and get away with this. I left circle because I had a master plan. I had saved the last number they called us with...I was going to frustrate the living daylights of anyone who picked. I did just that and more. I called every one hour. I called...vented like a mad woman. Every hour..I will patiently pick up my phone and vent for 10 blissful minutes. They did not come on Monday but came on Tuesday at exactly 3:45pm. That was not also without incident. They said what was "entered' in their system was for only the broadband so the landlines cannot be fixed. &*()+_%$^&$@#!!!. As I speak my internet is working but my landlines are down and ooooh I am still calling very hour for my 10 mins of blissful venting. Yes... all will be fair in this love and war.

I really do not know when companies that provide services will realize they are not doing us a favor. I wonder when the telecommunication companies realize that we do not need their promotions of gifts, cars, sponsorships for beauty pageants plays or workshops, their loud media campaign of corporate social responsibility, or free credits we simply need excellent services we pay with hard cash. I wonder when the telecommunication companies realize that we are getting fed up with the crappy services and one day one person will rise and sue. I wonder when the telecommunication services will really listen to the recorded messages between clients and their customer care representatives. I wonder when they will realize that most of their client services people do not understand the psychology of a frustrated client.

Before I end, Bianca, Seth and Audrey of Vodafone...thanks for the help. They were the only 3 people out of the 9 people interacted who offered some kind of help. Any place I need to drop that favor I will. But your "company" is full of &^*()$#%@#$%^&*_+_&&^%$%#@#@

I am done....it is almost time for me to call.

Enjoy the rest of your day.